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HOW
IT'S DONE
SEX
COMPLEX
What
it's about
where it's pleasurable
how to do it so that it's
truly satisfying
It
would be strange if after 10.000 years of sexual strife, there were
no problems in bed.
We are soaked in preconceptions and fears and we have not been educated
to enjoy pleasure, physical contact and erotic play.
The walls, newspapers, and television are full of erotic images,
but sex doesn't give us the satisfaction it could give us.
Sex is still sin. It's not talked about in school. It's improper
to go around half-naked, even in the summer, and it's not nice to
mention certain body parts, to touch people in certain places. Lastly,
if a man has a lot of women, he is 'macho'; if a woman goes with
a lot of men, she is a slut. Sex is practised little, in a hurry
and badly.
Sexuality is stifled by existing customs in a simple yet destructive
way. The woman is brought up to be reserved and to fear sex. So
that once in bed, she doesn't have the courage to fully express
herself and enjoy herself, and she certainly isn't able to give
pleasure to the man she loves.
Conversely, men are brought up to insult women who are too sexually
exuberant, so they don't come to enjoy the most beautiful things
of love: the lover's enjoyment and the tenderness of intimacy, the
emotion of a woman who loves freely.
The man-woman relationship is marked for both by fear and distrust.
Everything becomes a problem. There are a lot of people who even
experience disgust for the penis and the vulva.
The woman fears being thought of as a slut and doesn't appreciate
the constant attention of the male. The first menstrual periods
are received not as a big celebration, but with anxiety. Suddenly
little girls become women endowed with breasts, hips and round buttocks.
Almost from one day to the next they are no longer thought of as
little girls. They go to pubs and men lust after them with their
eyes. They are whistled at on the street and fondled on the bus.
All this in the midst of the greatest lack of information about
sex, femininity and the miracle of birth.
Similarly, men pass quickly from playing with pails and shovels
to asking themselves the dreadful question: "Am I a real 100%
he-man, capable of conquering a dozen women in heat? Will the demure
madonnas, buxom drug-store ladies and the girls I sit next to at
school (suddenly endowed with fantastic curves) become my prey?"
Certainly young girls are alarmed to see themselves developing breasts
that are sometimes very large, but don't think that, in the midst
of this growth of three-dimensional breasts, the poor little boy,
still preadolescent, doesn't get a fit of fear, longing and uncertainty.
The little boy not only develops later than the little girl but,
in addition, he is a major klutz until age twenty. Surrounded by
super macho talk in bars, he is reasonably convinced, that he is
a total sexual reject.
Hence a vicious circle is created in which insecurity, fear and
distrust are consolidated and reinforced. The more the man panics,
the more he insults the woman. The more the woman is insulted and
harassed, the more she distrusts man and has difficulty connecting
sex with pleasure.
(Continue)
Index
of contents
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